Why I Didn’t Drive a Car Till I Was 28

I bought my car, a shiny black Honda Civic, shortly after my 29th birthday late one evening in October. That night I drove my car from the dealership in Raleigh to Chapel Hill (~30 miles) in North Carolina — at the time the longest drive I’d done by myself in my whole life. I remember the first song that quite ironically played in my car was “How Soon is Now?” by The Smiths. I avoided the I-40 highway because I was too scared to go on it, taking meandering backroads in pitch darkness that probably added at least 10 more miles to my commute. To make things worse, it was raining heavily and I was more scared than excited.

Why was I scared? Here’s the thing — I never really knew how to drive till I was 28.

The first question many people have asked me, and I ask myself is — why the h&^% did I not know how to drive till I was 28?

This may come across as odd to most Americans, barring some who’ve probably spent their whole lives in cities like New York and San Francisco, but not to people from countries where public transportation is somewhat of a norm. The short answer is, I never really had to or truly wanted to. The long one, well, is below.

In India, you can’t legally drive till you are 18 years old. Shortly after I turned 18, I moved from New Delhi to Bangalore for college. I lived on campus for the next four years, a stone’s throw away from where my classes took place. No need to drive. Autorickshaws were my usual mode of transportation, plus car or motorcycle rides every now and then from “day scholars” — students who lived in Bangalore and drove to college.

When I moved to Chennai for work after graduating, there was no way I was going to drive either since I did not plan to be there for more than 1–2 years. For the next year or so, the local train was my friend. I think fondly of those long train rides, one of the few things I enjoyed in that city. It was hot, humid and super crowded in the mornings but the first-class ticket provided somewhat of a respite, you could at least get into the train without fighting hordes of people off. Evening rides were better — cooler, less crowded, with music and thoughts of what’s next in my future occupying my mind.

Then 10 years ago I moved to the United States for graduate school. At school in Durham, North Carolina, life was fairly easy without a car. Mostly our existence revolved around school, and I was lucky enough to have a helpful American roommate, plus friends and neighbors who let me tag along on trips to the grocery store. Generally there was a lot of walking around campus, the awesome campus buses and safe ride vans after-hours, and the occasional cab ride. I even took the local bus over to the mall a few times, although that was quite an experience each time and took about 5 times the amount of time it would take to get there in a car.

Once I graduated from my Masters program I knew it was time for the real world. I knew I’d have to finally learn how to drive and get a car. I was absolutely ok with it, except that I had to wait a bit longer ..

As an international student you have limited professional opportunities in the U.S as a new grad. You can end up anywhere in the U.S. I was quite excited to find an opportunity in San Francisco with an early stage start-up. I moved there and thought to myself — well, I certainly don’t need a car here! It was also during my time there in 2012 a friend once called an Uber as we were looking for a cab to go from one event to another. I remember being pretty blown away by the idea — I don’t have to call the driver or cab company and wait around forever till they decide to show up? I would know exactly when they would arrive? That’s crazy. Uber was a life-changer for me actually, you’ll find out soon why.

As exciting as being in silicon valley was, for several reasons I ended up taking up a job back in Chapel Hill after a few months in San Francisco. Ok, now I really needed to drive. I was back in North Carolina, I wasn’t a student anymore. I was going to be living in the “real” real world. There was no Uber (yet).

Although I had plans to get a license soon and start driving, I couldn’t do it immediately so I ended up finding a lovely little apartment within walking distance of my office. I started walking to and back from work. It took me ten minutes each way and was a nice way to start and end the work day. I discovered a local bus that stopped right outside my apartment complex and went in all the way into town, that also stopped at grocery stores along the way. If I wanted to get out of Chapel Hill, I’d take a cab (still no Uber in the area). Eventually I found a cab company (Goodfellas, I miss you!) who I trusted and could count on. I ordered a lot of stuff I needed online.

When people asked, especially during that first year back in North Carolina, why I didn’t drive, I couldn’t quite tell them the truth, but now I can.

I didn’t want to be in North Carolina for more than an year. After getting some good work experience I saw myself moving back to California again at some point, or someplace else. I didn’t see myself settling down in North Carolina. And for that reason I wanted to be purposefully uncomfortable. At that time, for me it meant owning less stuff.

But that one year plan didn’t turn out the way I envisioned, as plans often do not. I worked hard that first year and got a promotion at work, and saw an opportunity to gain more professional and life experience. The first year went by fast. Before I knew it another year went by, and then another. During this time I lived a pretty austere life which consisted mostly of work and time with close friends. As an introvert I was pretty ok with my life and didn’t miss much. Besides time with friends who were always nice and kind to give me a ride if we went out, I mostly read, wrote, learned about how to better build and manage products, and went on long walks around my pretty neighborhood. It was during this time I started creating art again, something I’d given up on years ago when I went to college. I chose a different way to live.

The benefits of a single person not owning a car for nearly three years?

• The savings. No car, fuel, or service payments. Not to mention saving the planet, just a little bit!
• Not wasting my time (or money) doing random stuff. If I met someone, it was someone I really wanted to spend time with. If I went somewhere, I really needed to go there. I basically lived and came to love a pretty minimalistic lifestyle.

The downsides?

I missed having a car at times during my second-stint in North Carolina for three years. My freedom was limited. Looking back, the main regret I have is that I didn’t explore the beautiful mountains, beaches and countryside more.

Finally, I decided to change my lifestyle and get a car.

One of the reasons I hadn’t done it yet was because I did have somewhat of a fear of driving. My attempts to learn how to drive in India, with a manual car in heavy traffic, had mostly been fruitless. Two people especially helped me overcome my fear. One was an Uber driver who picked me a up a couple of times in Chapel Hill. As Uber had just started in the area, few drivers were doing it and I’d usually get the same people over and over again. He asked me once if I knew how to drive, and why I didn’t do it etc. He was temporarily driving an Uber while he looked for a job, and had also been giving lessons to international students around the area as another side-gig. Although I knew how to drive as I’d taken lessons with a professional instructor before, I only needed practice to build up my confidence. After a few sessions with him, I felt a lot more confident.

The second person was a colleague at work who pushed me further to drive, offered her car for practice and even came with me for my driver’s license test. When my turn came I went out and the test was over in 5 minutes. I remember thinking — this is what I was afraid of? That was a breeze!

I live and work in the bay area in California now (again). My car, Ziggy Cardust, made it out to California as well. As much as I wanted to, I wasn’t ready to drive it out myself across the country. Out here in the bay area, I can easily live without a car. But now I love driving, especially outside of cities exploring new places, and cannot imagine giving it up!

Late last year on a whim, I decided to rent a car and drive down from Portland, OR to California. At nearly ~650 miles, it’s the longest solo drive of my life so far.

I wrote this article because I told several people during my car-free existence that I would do so one day. I’m lucky and blessed that at no point during the last few years was my decision constrained because of financial reasons. At each point, it was a personal choice. It was different, hard for some to understand, and I was ok with it.

I do owe a lot of people many, many rides :)